Friday, December 31, 2010

Vanilla Sunrise

I finally had a good night's sleep, a first in many a months so I decided to celebrate. I got up early, well early, to have a sit in the park. Have a sit I say because all I intended to do was to sit in one of them benches and wait for the Sun to rise, which I did. I just did not plan on having company, which I also did.

I sat languidly on the cold yet thankfully dry metal bench and draped my arms on its back, relishing the shivers that spread all over me in waves. It was pretty dark still, the sky a bruised blue. A ginger cat jumped out of the trash can by my bench and started to rub itself against my legs, yowling for food. I ignored the cat and looked over the tree line, waiting expectantly for sunrise.

"C'mere kitty kitty. C'mere!" A girl had suddenly materialized on my right, she was squatting by the trash can with her hand extended towards the cat currently curled up on my shoes. The cat only came to her when she started making clicking noises. Feeling conscious of myself, I crossed my arms and slouched in my seat. I peered at the girl without turning to look at her.

"Hey, mind if I sit next to you?" Not waiting for an answer, she scooped the cat in her arms and sat on my right. I reluctantly scooted to my left to make room for her. She sat the cat on her lap, scratching its ears. I felt the urge to scratch the stubble on my chin but did not do so.

"Isn't he the cutest little thing?" She cooed.

"It's a she." I said, instantly regretting it.

"Oh really? Can't call him, I mean, her, Tommy then." I turned to look at her and noticed that her eyes are the exact shade of honey brown as her hair, which happened to be the exact same shade of my hair too. Except, instead of smelling like vanilla, mine probably smelt like an ash tray.

"You waiting for someone? You look like you do." I noticed that her eyes strayed towards my hair.

"Just the Sun." I mumbled.

"Your son?"

"The Sun. Big glowing yellow thing that hangs in the sky all day."

"Oh. Why?" Her almond shaped eyes narrowed slightly. 

"Just celebrating." I said after a short pause.

The girl burst into laughter, jolting the cat off her lap. She looked even prettier when she laughed. "So am I! I'm celebrating the beginnings of my new beginning. Turning over a new leaf. What are you celebrating?"

"You know, I'm a complete stranger. We're alone and it's quite dark. I might be dangerous." I did not feel like sharing my long awaited triumph over insomnia with her.

"Are you?" Her mouth thinned, her honey eyes stopped smiling.

"I might be." I tried to look darkly at her, as I wondered what a 'dark' look is supposed to look like.

"Nah, you're just some disheveled good looking chap looking quite disgruntled. By me. I'm the dangerous one." She put her hands on the back of her head and looked upwards. Something in her voice made me uncomfortable.

It was then that I glimpsed the tell-tale spot of glare over the horizon. The sky grew lighter, slowly glowing into the familiar light blue. I stood up and stepped out of my shoes. I crossed the jogging path towards the damp grass. Warmth seeped into my fingertips and I could hear birds chirping their bubbly hellos. The morning dew made the grass glitter. I closed my eyes and felt myself smile.

Then it happened. The honey-haired, honey-eyed girl walked up to me and shot me twice in the leg. I crumpled into a heap, gasping for breath. I felt her hands reaching for my wallet inside my jacket and slipped my watch off my wrist. She even took my shoes. After that, the scent of vanilla nauseates me and I never slept good again. Ever.

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Note: I can't sleep right now. *sigh*

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Wonder Boys

I'm on a mission, that is, to watch all the films Robert Downey Jr. has ever acted in or at least ones that can be downloaded from the internet. So far I've seen 16. Another 3 already in my laptop, yet to be...watched. I'd say 'savoured' but that sounds much too icky, fanatical to be exact. Enjoyed then. 3 more yet to be enjoyed.

This is what I do. I watch films by actors, not genres, or directors. It's quite enjoyable really, apart from feeling distinctly weirded out at myself. I like watching films by actors because I get to see the range of characters they carry. What stereotypes they have (most actors have one), what mannerisms they usually employ. I like it when I find myself familiarized to their voice inflections and facial expressions, you know, how they tend to act out certain things the exact same way? Ah well, I don't expect anybody to understand anyway. Oh, one more thing, they usually tend to work with a few of the same actors and directors too.

Actors I'm partial to are (this means I've watched at least a dozen of their films), Keanu Reeves, Hugh Grant, Edward Norton, Ewan McGregor and obviously, presently, Robert Downey Jr. (in order of my phases of infatuation with them). Well okay, I've seen a handful of Jude Law & Jake Gyllenhaal's films too. I go through them in phases, after I've seen pretty much all of their films (ones available on the internet) I'd move on.

Right, enough of that. This post is supposed to be about Wonder Boys (2000). Lovely film, funny at times though mostly somewhat poignant. It reminds me of Dead Poets Society a little, because of the whole getting inspired, writing novels/poems, teacher-student relationship, pretty boys (hahah) and of course, Love. Not so much of Love for people, Love for lore. Just you know, literary.

Wonder Boys is actually based on a 1995 novel of the same title by Michael Chabon. I've only read (sort of) one of his works, namely The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay. Read it years ago, a friend of mine's. Not sure if I actually finished it though...probably not, since it's borrowed.

RDJ ain't the main character of this film but he's pretty main so there's almost plenty of him. As usual, he's delightful. I don't know, he just got that subtle eccentric, caustic energy about him. Even though he's not the hero, he's just a lot of fun to watch! Oh yeah, he's gay in the film. He's kinda got his sights on this budding weirdo yet exceedingly cute & talented novelist/lit student (Tobey Maguire) who is the student of his friend, a professor/novelist who he's also an editor to. It's not like his character is running rampant or anything, so it's nothing really. Just, funny.
"...my hood just got jumped..."
After today's hectic shit, I just really need a laugh. So I watched Tropic Thunder (2008). I think it is possibly  THE funniest film I've ever seen. Definitely one of my favourites of all time haha. Freaking hilarious. One of RDJ's finest performances. Just as he said to Brad Pitt at the 2009 Newsweek's Oscar Roundtable: "I rocked that movie." Even at this roundtable thingy, RDJ just stands out. He's real. Here's one of the 2009 Oscar Roundtable parts, it's on YouTube: click.
"Never go full retard!"
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P.S: I don't know why I bother posting bout films. I just do & I suppose I do like to *frowns*

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

In Case of a Bad Trip

When I start brushing my teeth using my cleanser instead of toothpaste then I know for sure that I'm really out of it. Anyway, it was 5A.M and I couldn't sleep.

Youtube only has one crappy video of this song, so I made this. This is the only 12 minute song I've ever listened to entirely and liked. One of them songs that I listen to when I feel positively apocalyptic, among The Strokes and a couple from Radiohead of course. 

Oh, as for the Donnie Darko clips I threw in...I just think it fits my 'apocalyptic' mood. Snazzy film. Wrote bout it in my old blog here. Heck, I even bought The Donnie Darko Book. Wanna see the scans? Here.

Right now though, this song is one of the two things that keeps me going. So that I won't forget to breathe~ won't forget to breathe~

In Case of a Bad Trip  By  The K.G.B


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Unrest

Not just a phone call
Not when what was said shreds you
Leaving you to pick yourself up
In tattered pieces on the floor

Possessed by a great fear
That eats at your nerves, your mind
You spend the day without sanity
Jumping at mere whispers of hope

It is beyond you and your wits
To fathom the cruelty Fate is inflicting
As if all those plans weren't made
As if all that time weren't spent

You mock your shaky resolve
Yet you cry at its leaving
What fool does that, you wonder
All the while, knowing the answer

So, be still my soul
Our future is yet to be set in stone
Though we tremble at its approach
Let us welcome it with open arms.

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Note: All I'm trying to say here is, 'Fuck'. Because... ahhhh. Just, fuck.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Your shoes, Together

I think it's lovely that you're in love
Your eyes so soft, your smiles so rosy
When I look at you I feel it too
That special affection, only for he.

Unlike those intentionally seeking love
Yours was accidental, a discovery
Natural in ways that makes for comfort
Your Love daintier than wings of a hummingbird.

Between the two of you, things are shared
Reasonable exchanges laced with reservations
I see not mere limerence
I see faith and innocence.

May its warmth accompany you
In the time of his absence
                                                                   When the villain is great distance
                                                                   Against such odds, may Love triumph.

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Note: Inspired by someone in particular, because I feel that her love is unlike any other. 
Nothing spectacular, simply sincere. In such shoes, most of us would like to step into haha.

UPDATE: It's nice to be appreciated. Looks like my 'poem' made the person it's written for, happy this time :) Here.

Monday, December 20, 2010

The Route V50


The youtube video up there is the 12 minute short film titled The Route V50 (2004) starring the one and only Robert Downey Jr. 

I'd write a synopsis if I could but really, I have absolutely no idea what it's actually about. It's one of those vague short films nobody but the film makers know what they're about. Do watch. RDJ's the only actor in it. Isn't that enough reason to watch? Anyway, It's short & free!

Oh yes, I found the link form this nifty website The Robert Downey Jr. Film Guide. Pay a visit. Even if you're not a fan, please do. It's a testament to how committed obsessed fans out there are. Not only does it have a list of all the films RDJ has ever been in, it categorizes the contents of the films by very specific factors! Just brilliant & absurdly obsessed. I found myself laughing when I stumbled upon this site. 

Here's an example, for The Route V50 :

Summary
As a traveler searches for a place called Confidence, he keeps running into other versions of himself.
Director
Stephen Frears
Downey Factor
High. He is the only actor in the film
Character
A wayward traveler caught in surreal scenario
Looks
Good. Clean, wears a black suit, white shirt
Performance
Excellent
Dies, Gay or Villain
No, no, no
Availability
Released in March 2004 on Volvo's british website in conjunction with the launch of a new vehicle. No longer available from Volvo, but I have posted it -- HERE
2 Reasons to See It
1. He has a conversation with himself!
2. Oh, come on, it's free!
Overall
It's a little strange to explain this film to someone who hasn't seen it, but it's entertaining, interesting, short, and pure Downey. You simply have to see it.
If You Like It
You might also like M.C. Escher.

Then there're some Photos (screencaps from the film) and Video (Trailer for the film). 


I mean, RDJ must've played quite a lot of characters that 'Dies, is Gay or is a Villain' to have earned his films such a category! Hilarious.
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P.S: The fact that the site's link has 'dandychick' in it is just too much. Can't help but laugh. It suits him though. RDJ I mean. He's quite a character.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

infantile

Mostly (if not entirely) pathetic, incomprehensible shit that either goes in circles or simply leads to nothing. And 'Nothing' is both the answer and not the answer to anything, everything. Sometimes I don't even know why I drew the things I drew. Then there's the 'poetry' but let's not get into that.

That's what the writings in my journal constitute of. I've stopped writing since I'm done with college. No need to scribble and doodle my 'frustrations' onto the blank, slightly yellowed A6 pages of my dull looking brown-green journal. With all due respect, I purposely picked that particularly shitty dull colour so that I may discourage myself from writing too often. Though mostly, I stopped because my 'journal' pen ran outta ink. Yes, infantile.

So here I am. Thinking whether I ought to chuck it and get a new one. Or just get a new journal pen and continue writing in it. It's just filled with pages upon pages of, well, sad shit! I feel like chucking it but there's like 2/3 worth of blank pages still. I even still have the one I used to write in back in High School. Man, that thing needs burning...

*sigh* My generation and our obsession with documenting every single thought that crosses our mind, when they're nothing much really. 

"We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives."
Fight Club

Perhaps there's some truth to this.