Lost, once and for all.

"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man."

                                                                                                                      ~ Heraclitus~ 

   In other words, an opportunity lost, is an opportunity lost. I was going about my usual business, watching a movie of no particular brilliance and a variant of this particular quote was sprung on me. Like an adrenalin shot straight to the heart, it was a moment of surreal clarity. 

I had an epiphany. An unpleasant one. It had me re-evaluating my current life, existence. More importantly, the choices I made to arrive to it. The here of now. 

What is unpleasant about it is that, I found no answers. I was yanked out of reality into realization and is left hanging with a plague of 'Why?'s.

My only comfort being, God has plans for me. Faith, I belief is in order for me to call upon right now. 

I tired, I'm trying, I'll keep trying.