Old man to his daughter

Dear J,

                I hope this arrives to you in time. The paper is shit nowadays, I can’t get through to the crossword puzzle without having to wade through all  the dirt. People all scum. Anyway, got the coffee I sent you yet? It should arrive soon if it hasn’t. Cee threw in some paintbrushes into the box said to tell you to draw her a scenery.  I’ve told her a million times that people don’t draw with brushes, people paint with them but you know how she is.

                My wrists are alright now. I can play for hours again and they would only start aching when it’s cold outside. Took the vitamins you told me to. Don’t think they work much though. Them pills, who knows what’s really in them! Pillmakers could have just scraped all the dust on his cupboards, made pills and tell us they are 100% natural and safe. Old Buster never had a pill in his life and look at him, still barks at the mail man like he’s still a nervous puppy. If men are dogs, we should be able to live like them. Eat whatever, poop everywhere and be healthy as can be.

                It’s getting more difficult to get your brother to come home now. Won’t even take phone calls during his ‘business’ hours. I bet all he’s busy doing at that stuffed up firm of his is send thank you cards to his clients, talk bout politics with his mates and chat up his lady secretaries. The big oaf knows nothing about running people around, he’s too busy being nice and all that. When he calls you up cause he says he will you tell him I want him to bring little Mimi over to our house, Cee’s been huffing about it over breakfast brunch lunch tea dinner and supper. Thinks I’m deaf or something oh I hear her little sighs and mutterings just fine all right. Do that for your old man okay?    

             One more thing, I want to meet with Mr. Ira Soon. I don’t want any excuses just bring him over next week for dinner. The turkeys are getting real fat now we can have good food and just chat. I want to make sure this one isn’t some poppycock lady charmer who thinks he can make you his lady just because he has looks to match yours you understand? You been telling me he’s wonderful beautiful and bashful well I just don’t know what to make of that. Sounds like a dodgy poetry loving teetotaller to me and I’m not sure if that’s what you should be looking for in a man. I just want you to have a good life ahead of you.

                My wrists are starting to act up now I’m gonna have to stop here. Remember, tell Walter to bring Mimi over soon and invite Mr. Ira over for dinner.

P.S. If the coffee doesn't get to you by next week give Arnold a call. He'll let me know.

Yours

R. F. Lee

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So much for me sticking to a bedtime curfew. But daylight savings ended yesterday, so I gained an hour. Extra sleep so that's fine I guess. I suspect my nightly manic typing is starting to annoy roomie. I should stop.