It should've registered in my mind though. If you're going to be a pharmacist, you've got to know the calculations involved in medicine production. And of course, a shitload of chemistry.
Had a breakdown of sorts.
What if I start failing? It's bad enough I have no interest whatsoever in pharmacy, but what if I hate it? Like Math? I just can't. I practically have math-phobia. Normal people don't spend the night before a math test contemplating death do they? Well, I do.
But of course, I'm going to try. I will. I'm just tired of struggling. I'm not a sciency person. My decent TER was only so because of my two language subjects and biology. My Math and Chemistry were blah Bs.
Imagine not having language subjects to pull my grades up? I might as well be retarded. I'm having some major second thoughts now. Not that I can act on them. Plan F is crazy but it's still a plan. This, I'm saving for when there's no hope left for me. When, if ever, I feel that I can relate entirely with this particular quote:
"Done trying. I resign. I resign. From everything."
~The Soloist~
~The Soloist~
Then it's time for Plan F. I'd like to stay alive, thanks.
sila elaborate each and everyone of your plan.
ReplyDeletethough aku rasa plan F would probably be, 'ah, tak nak fly la, screw this'.
Well, close enough. Plan F = Spending a year and see how well I can cope. If I start flunking all the time or simply don't see myself surviving another 3 years, then tak payah 2nd year. Bazir duit kerajaan. If aku terus ke 'ah, tak nak fly la, screw this,' it will be Hell on earth for me. Semua org akan marah.
ReplyDeletePlan E = Take up Psych anyway after I'm done with pharmacy. Part time or whatever. It'd be great if I can just take a masters straight into psych with added credit hours to catch up tho I don't think there's such a thing. So probably 2nd degree lah. Sambil kerja jadi pharmacist *cringe*
Plan A to D has failed, crashed, burned and imploded. No use discussing those.