Went to pick up my new book from the post office just now. So, I finish reading The Bell Jar.
Bell jars, I suppose is a good way of describing the detachment and sheer nothing-ness of things when you're just...I don't know, shut out and plain dead.
La da di da. Enough, enough.
I've been working on my physiology paper titled 'Depression & Fluoxetine'. Been working hard on it. I've lost my zeal to study so I focus on my assignments instead. I'm once again, a lazy arse..but I give a damn about the stuff I'm supposed to learn these days, so it's not like the last couple of years in college. I'm better now.
This week's been rough. I keep drifting away a lot. My concentration's shot dead. I've no idea why. One way to describe it is, it feels like being an unfocused camera lens. Things are there, right in front of you but blurry as heck that you can't make out anything. Every so often I'd zone out like this.
Anyway, everybody's having a sleepover/baking/movie night at a senior's house, I have the house to myself til tomorrow morning. 'Gatherings' and all that, I'll have none of it thanks. It bugs people that I don't give a shit. I just wish they'll deal with themselves and get over my lack of interest in their interests as soon as possible and stop bugging me.
One more thing, NOBODY here reads. Well, nothing worthwhile anyway. Roomie staaaaaareessss at me whenever I start reading. Thinks I don't notice I guess. It's kind of funny.
Meh, ape la diorang. Not everybody likes the idea of having gatherings with seniors, socializing for the sake of 'jaga hati orang' et cetera et cetera. It's not like you're threatening their social equilibrium or whatever by not joining them.
ReplyDeleteAnd, er, you don't have any book club or something ke at your uni? I do know your roomie loves to read chic lit and stuffs, tapi itulah kan. You could always make friends with pakcik2 jaga kedai buku, like I did here (pakcik kedai buku sini awesome, suka Handel, rambut panjang pakai shirt and vest XD)
Haha, they're all akak2 usrah. My not participating invites the whole 'si jahil dan pentingkan duniawi' vibe y'know? Makes me feel pretty shitty but I keep brushing em' off. Egh.
ReplyDeleteAnd no. We have practically no such thing here. And she does, does she? Idk. Never seen her read anything before. I'm learning to appreciate her better now tho. She's the best cook anyway and I suppose she finds me as boring as I find her hahah. Don't get the wrong idea btw! We get along just fine. I just don't talk much.
N pak cik kedai buku! Yeah. Jumpa satu haritu masa hunting for Kerouac's 'On The Road'. Said he didn't have it at the moment. He taught me how to pronounce Jung's name hehe.
Erkkk kat sini pun ada macam tu. Us five girls memang tak pergi usrah n jarang join aktiviti keagamaan (linda je la yang selalu), and we always hang out with the two lone MARA boys here, so rasanya memang dah dapat cop mohor "minah sosial". But not from the sisters la, diorang baik, but from male seniors. bagus tak bersangka buruk. hahahahaha XD
ReplyDeleteidk la, last year i saw several chic lit books in her room. she likes stuffs like devil wears prada dan seangkatan dengannya gitu. tapi dia tak sesuka bie la, itu yang pasti. haha, i understand XD as long as you guys could tolerate each other sudah la kan, mesra2 isn't particularly necessary XP
and oh, pakcik Jung tu! bila2 masa pergi la berkawan dengan pakcik tu or something. untung-untung boleh dapat buku free XD btw do you happen to read Philip Roth?
At least you're all together. It's just me here, being the black sheep as usual. Nyeh. They're nice people though, of course.
ReplyDeletePhilip Roth, remember back then at Big Bad Wolf? They had every single book Roth had ever written EXCEPT Portnoy's Complain, which I wanted. So, no, someday perhaps. Why do you ask?
Ah, I knew I've heard you said something along that line during Big Bad Wolf, tapi konfius which author you were referring to. Takde, I saw American Pastoral on display at my local bookshop, serta-merta teringat kat awak :D I was thinking of buying that for you or something (uwahh pecah rahsia) tapi takut awak dah baca/bukan tajuk tu yang awak dok carik dulu. I dunno if they also have Portnoy's Complain though, but next week I'm going there again. So heeeee XP
ReplyDeleteAwww, Tim! That's nice of you. *terharu* But you don't have to :) .....n uh, if you're buying me a book, I've been hunting for Kerouac's 'On the Road'~ (buat muka tak malu).
ReplyDeleteI've been meaning to ask for your address btw. So that I could mail the Rose painting I promised you for your birthday. I haven't painted it yet, but I will, I just need your address. PM on facebook later k.